Without a doubt, the worst song of all time is Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA". I don't hate this song with such a passion because it's patriotic. In fact, I feel there are many beautiful patriotic songs. No, I hate this song because it has some of the worst lyrics ever written in the history of music.

But I've learned that there are people out there who like this song. Then there are people out there who love this song. And further still, there are people out there who are moved to tears when they hear this song. Why? What is wrong with these people?

And things only get worse.

A few weeks ago the American Idol clan sang "God Bless the USA" twice in one episode. A group of military folk were in the audience and at least on Idol contestant broke into tears. I was sitting on my couch wincing. Apparently the rest of America thought it was beautiful because the group has now recorded a "God Bless the USA" single where 50 cents of each sale goes towards The American Red Cross. And just to make sure everyone's happy, they've thrown in their own version of Burt Bacharach's "What the World Needs Now Is Love." How beautiful.

I have my own song. "What the World Needs Now is Someone to Go Back in Time and Bust Some Lee Greenwood Kneecaps to Make Sure That Song is Never Written." Catchy title, at the very least.