**written on November 18, 2003 but not published until now**
This evening, I returned to my still unfamiliar apartment after spending a wonderful weekend in Madison, Wisconsin celebrating the birthday of one of my best friends. But a long flight and a bit of "Joe Millionaire" made me hungry with nothing to eat in the apartment but Reduced Fat Cheez-It Crackers and Rold Gold Honey Wheat Braided Twists. So I headed out to Harris Teeter to see what else I could find.
I did my shopping, found some sales, and with my little basket overflowing I headed to the express check out (15 items or less OR ELSE WE'LL CHOP OFF BOTH YOUR HANDS!). A young and fairly cute cashier named Carole was waiting for me. During the check out she gave me a few funny looks. With the confidence of the new beard behind me I began to think, "Aaah, she thinks I'm cute. Well, I don't blame her. Look at me. I'm a sexy bitch!" Right. Here was our conversation:
Carole:I know this is kind of a weird question but are you Jewish?
Me: Yeah [slightly uncomfortable smirk]
Carole: I thought so. You look Jewish
Me:[not really sure if I heard her right] What was that?
Carole: You look Jewish. I have this teacher - Mr. Goldstein - who is Jewish. You look a lot like him.
Me: Cool. Thanks? Have a good night.
I ran straight home to stare at my mirror. This isn't out of the ordinary, but this time I really inspected my face for signs of Judaism.
Do I look Jewish? Yeah, I have a big nose and I'm a fairly hairy guy but do those make me a dead ringer for a Jew? This guy has to be a Jew. These guys must visit the Kosher deli every day. This is just a shadow and I can tell the owner dreams about bagels with lox every night. But does this look like a Jewish face to you?
Seriously, I'm not sure. You tell me
This evening, I returned to my still unfamiliar apartment after spending a wonderful weekend in Madison, Wisconsin celebrating the birthday of one of my best friends. But a long flight and a bit of "Joe Millionaire" made me hungry with nothing to eat in the apartment but Reduced Fat Cheez-It Crackers and Rold Gold Honey Wheat Braided Twists. So I headed out to Harris Teeter to see what else I could find.
I did my shopping, found some sales, and with my little basket overflowing I headed to the express check out (15 items or less OR ELSE WE'LL CHOP OFF BOTH YOUR HANDS!). A young and fairly cute cashier named Carole was waiting for me. During the check out she gave me a few funny looks. With the confidence of the new beard behind me I began to think, "Aaah, she thinks I'm cute. Well, I don't blame her. Look at me. I'm a sexy bitch!" Right. Here was our conversation:
Carole:I know this is kind of a weird question but are you Jewish?
Me: Yeah [slightly uncomfortable smirk]
Carole: I thought so. You look Jewish
Me:[not really sure if I heard her right] What was that?
Carole: You look Jewish. I have this teacher - Mr. Goldstein - who is Jewish. You look a lot like him.
Me: Cool. Thanks? Have a good night.
I ran straight home to stare at my mirror. This isn't out of the ordinary, but this time I really inspected my face for signs of Judaism.
Do I look Jewish? Yeah, I have a big nose and I'm a fairly hairy guy but do those make me a dead ringer for a Jew? This guy has to be a Jew. These guys must visit the Kosher deli every day. This is just a shadow and I can tell the owner dreams about bagels with lox every night. But does this look like a Jewish face to you?
Seriously, I'm not sure. You tell me
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