The Krispy Kreme That Isn't

I think we can all agree that the greatest experience in the world is eating a hot Krispy Kreme doughnut coming right off the assembly line. That's right, it is the greatest thing in the world (#2 and #3 on that list, respectively, are a eating a Chipotle burrito and blowing your nose using Puffs Plus tissues with Lotion. #4 is sex).

THE EXPERIENCE: You see the "hot doughnuts now" red light on. So you rush in and stand on the other side of the glass, watching the doughnuts ride down the conveyor belt and underneath the waterfall of icing. And then a friendly Krispy Kreme employee snatches a doughnut up and hands it to you, so hot, so fresh. You eat it and the world stops. The doughnut melts in your mouth - MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH - and you realize you don't want the world to start back up again. All you want is for that friendly employee to stand over your open mouth and continually drop hot, fresh doughnuts inside it. And that is why visiting a Krispy Kreme when the doughnuts are coming off the line is more than just a doughnut run, it is an experience.

The beauty of this experience is why I feel so frustrated when I hear people talking bad about Krispy Kreme. 90% of the time the naysayers are people who have never experienced a hot Krispy Kreme doughnut; never felt the warmth of the doughnut against their lips and felt the dough and icing ooze down your throat. Instead, they've seen the displays at their local supermarket or gas station and thought that this was a true Krispy Kreme doughnut. These people are under the impression that the sketchy looking, stale doughnut with the chipped icing is Krispy Kreme.

I tell you all of this to explain why I have issues with the new Krispy Kreme in Dupont Circle in Washington, DC. This new store opened on Tuesday morning to a throng of eager customers desperate for a fresh doughnut. Only you can't get fresh doughnuts off the assembly line at Dupont Circle because even at the new store they don't bake their own doughnuts. No, Krispy Kreme is trying this new idea of baking the doughnuts elsewhere (Alexandria, VA in this case), trucking them to the store and then hot-glazing them. That just seems wrong to me, almost like a glorified Krispy Kreme display at the grocery store. And even if the taste isn't so bad (though I can't imagine it's even close to the real thing) you're not getting the full experience of a real store. Yet everything looks like a real store: you've got the neon red sign, displays of doughnuts behind the glass counter, Krispy Kreme paper hats, coffee and more. But there is no assembly line of doughnuts and I think that is the most important part.

I will wait until I've been inside the store and tried the doughnuts before I pass judgement, but this does not sit well with me. No sir, I don't like it.