The Krispy Kreme That Could Have Been
I was in Rockville, MD this last Tuesday on the road for work when my eyes saw one of the most beautiful sites known to man: a lit "Hot Doughnuts Now" Krispy Kreme sign. My mouth began to water, my heart started beating faster and I began to cry tears of joy. Even though I no longer live near Rockville, a real Krispy Kreme in Montgomery County just seemed like a wonderful thing. I of course stopped for doughnuts.

Hot glazed doughnuts were coming down the assembly line (oh beautiful waterall of glaze, how I love you) and one of the employees was nice enough to give me a free doughnut (I think this is policy at many Krispy Kremes - get them hooked like heroine with a hot free one and watch them come crawling back every day for more, mwaaahhhh!). This calmed me down a bit and allowed me to think straight once again. Instead of buying out the entire store of doughnuts, as was my original plan when I first saw the red light, I bought a half-dozen and a medium coffee. As the cashier was ringing me up I realized that I had been to this very shopping center less then a month ago and had not seen a Krispy Kreme. My thoughts continued and I realized that this story must be quite new, probably opening within the last 2 or 3 weeks. I took my doughnuts and quickly ate another hot glazed.

I then noticed to my right a paper that was entitled "Opening Week Festivities." Looking at the dates I realized that "opening week" had begun on Monday, December 16. It was currently Tuesday, December 17th! I had missed the opening day by JUST ONE DAY! "Awh shucks" I thought, and perused the opening day festivities. When I realized what I had missed I began to cry tears of sadness and rage. What I read looked something like this (only the bullets were actually little doughnuts):

Grand Opening Day - 5:30 a.m. on-going
• HOT LIGHT GOES ON and Doors open at 5:30 a.m.
• First lobby customer wins a year's supply of doughnuts (52 dozen)
• Next 23 lobby customers each win a dozen doughnuts a month for a year
• First 24 lobby customers each receive a Rockville Krispy Kreme jesrey shirt (#1 - #24)
• The next 100 customers each receive a limited edition Rockville Krispy Kreme T-shirt
• Rockville High School Cheerleaders will perform a Krispy Kreme cheer
• Leslie from Fancy Cakes by Leslie will be building a Krispy Kreme cake.

Ribbon Cutting Ceremony - 9 a.m.
• Local dignitaries and Krispy Kreme representatives will cut the doughnut ribbon in front of the new store to designate the official opening of the store.

Thoughts of what might have been began to rush through my head. I imagined myself driving the 30 minutes to Rockville every Monday morning to pick up my weekly dozen, wearing my Krispy Kreme limited edition jersey and chanting the Krispy Kreme cheer. But alas, it was not meant to be. Instead, I was in attendance for Uniform Day - "anyone who comes into the store wearing a uniform will receive a free doughnut or a small cup of coffee." You know what I say to that? "Whoopty friggin' doo." You can keep your free coffee (I'll take the doughnut). I want my shot at 52 dozen doughnuts and I want to hear the Krispy Kreme cheer.

If this isn't reason enough to dedicate my life to building a time machine and going back to December 16, 2003, then I don't know what is.