Why Don't We Have That Kind of Relationship?

My apartment building has a security guard that sits behind a desk in the main lobby and makes rounds in the building during off hours. The one security guard in the building ends up being a rotating set of repeating faces. They are all friendly enough and we talk constantly, exchanging salutations and schmoozing about the weather or about how we're doing or about the package I have waiting for me in the leasing office. We're all very close, or so I thought.

Yesterday morning on my way out the door one of my fellow tenants saw the security guard on duty and the two of them had a bit of a moment, doing one of those manly hand shake/friendship things, grabbing each other's hands, pulling each other together and gently bumping. One of them might have even thrown in a, "Good to see you, man!"

Then today I walked in to hear another tenant spilling his guts about his failed long distance relationship while the security guard on duty sat behind his desk listening so intently. I almost felt like I was intruding on someone's session with their psychiatrist.

But now I'm a bit jealous. How did the other residents build these relationships with the security guards? I hear people talking about family and kids and now ex-girlfriends. How do you bring that up?
Me: I have a package.
Security Guard: Oh, here it is. [hands me package] Anything else?
Me: No. Oh wait. I've always felt my mom loves my sister more than me.
Security Guard: [gesturing downward] Please, take a seat. That must be quite the burden to hold inside all these years...

Is it that easy? Am I just a cold prick? And once we've discussed our personal lives, does that mean I have to have this deep conversation every time I walk by? Or any conversation at all? It seems rude to open up one day and then just nod the next. Because regardless of how cathartic my security guard session is, sometimes I'm just going to want to walk to my apartment without saying much. Or I'll want to walk downstairs to do the laundry, and that's it.

Do I sacrifice that freedom for friendship? Those other tenants looked so happy. That manly friendship embrace — I want that. If only there were a friendly ear to bend about my dilemma.

Oh but there is, waiting for me right outside my door.