My backpack of cologne

As has been made abundantly clear, I like (Syracuse) Orange. Many months ago I saw this beautiful backpack on sale at LL Bean’s website and I could not resist. It is, quite frankly, the love of my life.

We have had some good times together. And the bag has received many, what I will call, "compliments." Yes, everyone loves it. Why wouldn’t they?

Several months ago I packed the backpack for an excursion into New York City. In the bag went clothes, iPod, camera, and my toiletries, including a bottle of cologne. But maybe I’ve said too much already.

As usual, things were going great with me and my bag. He held stuff securely as we had fun, looking so fresh & so clean the entire time. On my last day in New York City I had some time on my own before catching my bus ride home, so I decided to walk across town. Just me and my bag and an insatiable curiosity!

But as I made my way down the streets of NYC, I noticed that everyone passing by me was wearing a lot of cologne. No, not just a lot. It seemed all the men in NYC bathed in cologne. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 guys walked by me, all seemingly drenched in some strongly scented perfume. “Why,” I thought, “do so many men in New York wear so much damn cologne?”

And then finally it hit me. On a street corner (probably next to one of 150 H&Ms in NYC), I unpacked my bag to confirm my fears. I found an open bottle and a pool of cologne at the bottom of the bag.

Right there I cleaned the bag the best I could. I repacked it and made my way home, stowing it in the undercarriage of the bus. The smell held strong the whole bus ride. I hoped airing it out over time would do the trick. On my body the cologne usually loses its scent by the end of the day. Over a few weeks the odor on the bag did not relent. Since then I have soaked it in Woolight. I have thrown the bag in the washing machine. The scent has only faded slightly, but it will not leave. In fact, on a long car ride today I noticed the scent return with a new vengeance as it sat in the window, baking in the sun.

I like my cologne. It took me awhile to find a scent I was comfortable with and this one is perfect when used in moderation. But this stench that has grabbed hold of my bag is something completely different.

So I turn to you, Voters. What do I do? How do I send this uninvited guest home? What can I do to return my bag to its untainted and scent free existence?