Apparently somebody is looking for my girlfriend:

I saw you at Popeyes.
You had some sexy thighs.
You lookded really nice.
You ate some beans and rice.
I smiled but you missed it.
You was eatin a biscuit.
I wish you would've saw,
but you was eatin cole slaw,
and lookin out the winder'
and eatin a chicken tender.
We different social status,
But both like mashed potatas.
I'll be there tomorrow night,
the dude with a two-piece white.

-ThreePieceWhiteASmallColdDrinkSomeRedBeansABiscuitAndSmallFries

I'm not going bald. What, you don't believe me? Well, just ask The Information Minister. He'll tell you what's up! (Thank you to Jon Sung)

A new day has dawned once again in the world of fast food:
The Cheesy Gordita Crunch from Taco Bell is back. Yes, that's right - the meat from a tube, inside a taco that is wrapped inside another taco has returned. What you haven't tried the Cheesy Gordita Crunch? Let me see if I can explain this fast food work of art.

It's the regular taco bell taco meat (top of the line stuff) inside a regular, hard shell taco. Toppings include the regular lettuce and cheese, but go on to include sour cream. "What's so special about that? It's like a a taco supreme but without the tomatoes. Come on, we're leavin' this place." I'm not done junior, sit your ass down!

The next step is really key to the whole process so please pay special attention - it is what makes this taco more special than any taco that has come before it. In fact, let me recap for you: hard shell taco with lettuce, meat, cheese and sour cream as toppings. Got it? Good. From there, the taco artists at Taco Bell wrap flat bread around the hard taco and use melted cheese as the glue to hold the two together.

Pure genius. Really, a raising of the bar in what we have come to expect from fast food restaurants. This taco truly is a taste sensation like no other.

The Cheesy Gordita Crunch from Taco Bell has walked back into my life after leaving me so abruptly so many years ago. This event has cast the first ray of warm light and hope on to a world that until today seemed so bleak.

I might lose a toenail! How friggin' cool is that? Wanna see?

Jim Boeheim, basketball coach of the Syracuse Orangemen, was a guest on the Late Show with David Letterman last night. I sat in front of the TV watching it, giddy like a little school girl. I laughed at his jokes, I smiled proudly when he talked about the National Championship and I even clapped and giggled when they showed Carmelo Anthony and Gerry McNamara offstage in the Late Show green room.

And it seems that Boeheim and some of the Orangemen players are going on a whirlwind tour of New York State. From ringing the NYSE Opening Bell to the Letterman gig and even to the Governor's Mansion for lunch.

And by Boeheim's side through all of this is his wife Juli. Oh, Juli Boeheim. As Tony Kornheiser might say, she still gets it done. So beautiful and somehow married to this, a man 20 years her senior. I'm told he's a very charming fellow.

But I'm getting off topic. Clearly, I am here right now to praise the Syracuse Orangemen. Juli Boeheim, I love you! Orangemen fans have been waiting so long for this moment So beautiful and this team has made so many people happy. Juli, I could make you happy It's only appropriate that they get their recognition. please Juli, run away with me But make sure you enjoy this moment because an opportunity like this may never come again. Marry me!

In summary, I love Juli Boeheim. Oh...umh...and the Syracuse Orangemen basketball team.

Clearly Kristen was wrong about her poor use of toilet paper. For whatever reason, she still feels the need to defend herself. In the interest of being the ever so kind and fair boyfriend that I am, her side of the story is below.

Kristen Tells Her Story
It's true. I did put the empty toilet paper roll back on the designated spot without checking if we had another roll. However, while I was in the wrong to the common observer, I feel you were grossly unjustified in blaming me without hearing my side of the story.

The main factor in my defense is that I used the last of the toilet paper around 2'o'clock in the morning. While some people may be chipper and coherent at 2am (after happily dreaming for 3 hours) I am not. I was proud of myself for finding my way back into the bed. I'm not sure if I really opened my eyes fully enough to see that the paper was gone, let alone venture to the closet to see if there were more rolls.

Secondly, I do not use an excessive amount of toilet paper. This means that at some point during the previous day you probably noticed that the roll was becoming ominously thin. As a preventative measure you could have checked the closet and put out a new roll. Especially since you had already noticed that we were low (proven in your amusing anecdote about checking the sales).

I realize that some people may argue that my second argument is flawed, as I could have done the same. However, I am a very right-brained person and have little patience or aptitude for such trivial details as maintaining bathroom order. I prefer to imagine the forms your pile of pajamas in the corner of the bathroom could take on, or find the patterns all of your little hairs [on the floor] make.

So, while I acknowledge that I could have prevented your trip to Giant this morning, I don't feel I am entirely to blame. And as far as the ice cream- it was excellent and appreciated. I found it this morning before work, and had a few spoonfuls for breakfast.

I knew our supply of toilet paper was getting a bit low. I even went to the supermarket the other day to see what TP was on sale. Nothing was so I passed thinking we still had one or two more rolls back in the apartment. Turns out I was wrong.

Kristen put the last roll of TP in to action without telling me or restocking it herself. I found this out when that same roll was empty this morning leaving us with no TP in the entire house. How can you pull out the last roll of toilet paper without making plans to get a new supply as soon as possible?

Unfortunately, I had a need for toilet paper this morning so I ran out to the local grocery store and got a small supply (so we won't be overstocked if something goes on sale in a few days). And despite Kristen clearly being in the wrong on this, I got her the peanut butter ice cream she was craving last night (Edy's is on sale). However, I didn't tell her and hid it in the back of the freezer. She'll eventually find out that we have some, only it won't be until I take it out to scoop some for myself.

I'm still working on being evil, or even just slightly mean, but clearly I've got a long way to go.

Dear Lord Becky, I'm so happy we've finally moved the clocks forward one hour. You try convincin' a cow it's milkin' time when the sun isn't even fixin' to rise! It's dang near impossible.

Probably about once a day I scan through my access logs to see how people are coming to voteprime (Bel Biv Devoe is still a very popular search). Yesterday I noticed that someone had come from Sugarloaf/USA's home page. Just in case you don't remember, for most of the summer of 2001 I lived in Carrabassett Valley, Maine on Sugarloaf Mountain driving BMW's.

I haven't been back since that summer. Do the mountain people miss me so much that they sent out a request to find me on the Sugarloaf webpage? Or did somebody hack in to the Sugarloaf webpage and fill it with Dancing Mega Man and links to voteprime.com? Well, no, but something is still a little fishy. The visitor came to voteprime from the Sugarloaf Message Board Members List. A member who goes by the name of "I used to live in condo 6" listed voteprime.com as their own personal website. So there was no calling of my name nor any hacking and mega dancing. But there is someone out there pretending to be me. And I never even lived in Condo 6!

I sent this imposter a friendly Personal Message through the message board and I'm hoping I'll get a response soon. But I'd like to know who is out there telling people they are me, living off of my popularity, thinking they'll never get caught. Well I've got some news for you, buddy: The gig is up - you've been found. So you better start a'runnin' because it's closing time and I ain't so pretty when the lights come on!

The Syracuse Orangemen are the 2003 NCAA Basketball National Champions. Unranked to start the season and ending it as the top team in the country. The color orange is back in style. Wear it proudly.

Carmelo Anthony has to be one of the best college freshman ever. Without a doubt. And only the second freshman in NCAA history to lead his team to a national title. But with that said, my favorite moment has to be seeing Hakim Warrick come out of no where to block the possible game tieing three point shot. Wide open, lined up, plenty of time and suddenly here comes Warrick flying through the air getting his entire hand on the ball and swatting it out of bounds. I'm tearing up a bit right now just thinking about it, although that might have more to do with the Raid we just sprayed in our office than the sentimental value.

Anyway, so we can all enjoy this moment together, here it is, captured in photo.



Syracuse: National Champions. I'll be reminding myself, and everyone else, about this for a long time to come.

I've been somewhat unbloggie lately. this time, it's not because I'm lazy. No, now that I've got the blog rolling again (still having problems with the archives - that's mostly due to laziness) I feel like every post has to be golden. Sure, I know none of the new posts to date have really been any good, but I put a lot of thought into them at the very least.

But with this, "Everything has to be perfect" policy, a lot of important things go unmentioned. So I thought I would recap what has happened over the last week or so and then give you my current favorite link.

Recap of Adam's Last Week or So
1. My girlfriend thinks I'm gay, but I'm not. I'm just a sensitive guy who enjoys watching "Trading Spaces" and "American Idol"
2. Kristen and I have been together for 2 years. Two wonderful years that have left me loving her very much. Although I'd be even more crazy about her if she'd get off my back about this "being gay" thing.
3. The "America" that is watching "American Idol" came very close to eliminating one of the most talented people on the show. How could Trenyce be in the bottom 2? The people responsible for this are probably the same people who think "God Bless the USA" is a great song. Sometimes I hate the world we live in.
4. Kit Kat's Big Kat is one of the best new candy bars in many years. Very underrated because I think it is too often thought of as just a big Kit Kat. Don't fall into this trap. Unlike a regular Kit Kat, the Big Kat has a perfect "chocolate to wafer crisp" ratio making it chocolately and refreshing. Put aside any preconceived thoughts and give one try. Pleaes, I urge you.
5. The Syracuse Orangemen have made a run to the championship game of the NCAA Tournament. Absolutely amazing. This has put a huge smile on my face all weekend whenever I think about it. The big game is tonight and for goodluck I've got on my boxers with oranges on them as well as an old blue and orange tie (I've also got on pants, a shirt and shoes, but they aren't Syracuse related). So watch the game and root for the 'Cuse as they face Kansas University tonight.

And this leads right in to my current favorite link. Syracuse beat Texas to get into the championship game. As he often does, during the game Syracuse forward Hakim Warrick had a huge dunk that got the crowd fired up. Unfortunately for Texas, the photo could be seen as a little embarassing, at least that's the way this Syracuse fan interpreted it. "How you say, 'Tea Bag?'"

Without a doubt, the worst song of all time is Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA". I don't hate this song with such a passion because it's patriotic. In fact, I feel there are many beautiful patriotic songs. No, I hate this song because it has some of the worst lyrics ever written in the history of music.

But I've learned that there are people out there who like this song. Then there are people out there who love this song. And further still, there are people out there who are moved to tears when they hear this song. Why? What is wrong with these people?

And things only get worse.

A few weeks ago the American Idol clan sang "God Bless the USA" twice in one episode. A group of military folk were in the audience and at least on Idol contestant broke into tears. I was sitting on my couch wincing. Apparently the rest of America thought it was beautiful because the group has now recorded a "God Bless the USA" single where 50 cents of each sale goes towards The American Red Cross. And just to make sure everyone's happy, they've thrown in their own version of Burt Bacharach's "What the World Needs Now Is Love." How beautiful.

I have my own song. "What the World Needs Now is Someone to Go Back in Time and Bust Some Lee Greenwood Kneecaps to Make Sure That Song is Never Written." Catchy title, at the very least.